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Love That Feeling Newsletter
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Tuesday August 10, 2010: Issue #37
 
Love That Feeling Newsletter is published every Tuesday for
opted-in subscribers only. New subscribers join every day thanks
to your kind referrals and recommendations.
 
Published by Russ Hamel. Your comments are always welcome. Thank
you so much for being a reader!
 
Hello my new friend,
 
No One Is Hotter Than Mommy
 
Almost a year ago to this day (actually August 20) I wrote a
piece and posted it to my blog.  It was a set of three short
vignettes intended for your amusement about how my little kid
embarrassed me, reminiscent of the old Art Linkletter's TV show,
"Kids Say the Darndest Things". 
 
 
To this day, it is still the most controversial and responded to
article on 'Love That Feeling', all because I referred to Maggie
as 'hot'.  The first couple of comments were pretty much what I
was hoping for; "Cute story - funny - thanks for sharing", that
sort of stuff.  Then came THE BOMB.  One reader took me out to
the woodshed, accusing me of objectifying my wife and setting a
poor example for our girls.
 
Initially, I have to admit that I was shocked.  How could
somebody possibly twist my innocent rendition of 'Life's Most
Embarrassing Moments" into a rant for Women's Advocacy.  Even
Maggie, who works for an organization promoting and supporting
Women's Advocacy agreed that this particular lady went just a bit
overboard in her crusade.  Regular commenters on the blog came to
my rescue, allowing that while this woman made some valid points,
she was perhaps a bit TOO overzealous given the context of my
piece.
 
What Goes Around...
 
I mention all this because yesterday the tables were turned.  I
took offense to something I saw online.  This time it was I who
was perceived as 'The Out-of-Touch-with-the-Times Meany'!
As an avid student of Internet Marketing, I'm always interested
to see what other people are doing online.  A couple of weeks
ago, one of my mentors referred me to a particular website where
he said two women were doing some very creative things with their
videos.  I checked it out, liked what I saw, and immediately
signed up for their mailing list.
 
Yesterday (August 9), Laura and Marie sent me an email titled,
"Our Most Outrageous Video Yet".  They invited all their readers
to drop by and leave a comment.  I did.
 
Laura and Marie weren't joking when they said they were pushing
the boundaries.  Their video was brilliant, creative and most of
all FUN!  The biggest message that they want to impart to their
target audience (helping women run successful businesses via the
Internet) is that you can - and SHOULD - have fun.  After all, if
you are doing something you LOVE, be yourself and let it show.  I
have absolutely no problem with that.  To that point, they
definitely hit the bulls-eye!
 
So Where's the Beef, Russy?
 
Lurking behind their 'outrageously' fun video was a soundtrack to
Jay-Z's "I Just Wanna Love You (Give It 2 Me)".  The ladies were
lip-syncing in MTV music video style.  Apparently they felt the
song was appropriate for their intended message.
 
People will see what they want to see; hear what they want to
hear.  99% of the comments (60 and counting as I write this) were
of the gratuitous variety.  "Great; Awesome; Woo-hoo" that kind
of thing.  Yours Truly stood out alone, stating my opinion, "As
two beautiful, brilliant young marketers targeting successful
business women, surely you could have chosen a less offensive
soundtrack that would actual PROMOTE and SUPPORT women!"
 
Here is a link to Jay-Z's lyrics.  WARNING: They are EXPLICITLY
SEXUAL and misogynist in content.
 
 
After writing a couple additional comments where I clarified and
supported my position, I did get a couple of women to agree that
I made some 'valid points'.  No, REALLY?
 
One woman even applauded me for having the guts to stand up in a
primarily targeted women's group and hold my ground.  Hey!  The
Emperor (in the case, the Empresses) were naked and NOBODY else
was willing to say what they saw (heard)!  The majority of people
leaving comments all seemed to be tripping over themselves to
kiss up to these two ladies.
 
It's a sad observation on the times we live in.  Yes, every age
has had it's radical fringe of trend-setters.  MacLean's Magazine
(the Canadian version of Time Magazine) ran an article last week
titled, "Outraged Moms, Trashy Daughters".  Read the full article
here:
 
 
That piece then became the topic of a local radio talk show where
the host related how he saw a young girl that morning in a coffee
shop (he estimated the girl to be around 12 years old) wearing a
T-shirt with the words, "You Can't Afford Me" emblazoned across
the front.  Listen to that radio podcast here:
 
 
As a long-time music teacher, I've had students bring songs into
class that they would like to learn.  I'm open to most things,
but I'm quick to point out the MESSAGE (lyrics) behind some of
the songs the kids bring in.  Here's the shocking news:  most
people, including parents don't know (or possibly don't care)
about the lyric content of the music.
 
"It's DANCE music; it has a GREAT BEAT!  Get with it Russy!"
 
I don't agree.  There's plenty of great dance music WITHOUT the
sexually explicit, hatred and/or violent filled messages.  Yet,
most of the respondents on Laura and Maria's blog seemed to be
indifferent and totally desensitized.  They heard nothing wrong
and pretty much told ME to lighten up!  After all, the girls just
wanna have FUN!
 
Is There A Double Standard Here?
 
Why is it OK that I can call Maggie 'hot' while I object to Jay-
Z, one of the most popular hip-hop artists today?  Is there a
difference here?  I'd LOVE to get your feedback!
 
While you're at it, here's the link to Laura and Marie's
controversial video.  Again, I think it's a brilliant piece of
marketing IF they would consider re-doing the lyrics - maybe
inserting a parody version without the offensive stuff!
 
 
As always, thanks for reading.  I really Love That Feeling
knowing you are getting something out of my writing.
 
All the best from Toronto,
Russ
 
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Are You Having Second Thoughts About YOUR Second Marriage?
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Spouse's kids (and Ex's) driving you nuts? Looking for tips and
solutions to avoid or eliminate your Second Marriage Hell? Maggie
and I have been there, done that. Let our extensive experience
and advice guide you.  We've included some of the most bone-
headed mistakes any couple can make.  We know, because we've made
them all!  This is the BEST place to start!

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This Weeks' Blog Posts
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The Gift of Giving
Is it the gift itself, or the thought that counts?  Join the
debate and help decide this issue once and for all!

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Thought For Today
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We talk a lot about setting goals and targets. Important as these
things are, they are really just way-points in your journey.
The ultimate destination is your life's objective.
Until you have defined that, all of your intermediate goals are
just shots in the dark.
 
What is YOUR life's objective? What is the one defining point
that you want your life to be aiming towards?
Take time answering this - even go to the extent of consulting
with close family and friends. In fact, this a good time to bring
into action your Mastermind group.
 
When you have your own personal, 100% certain life's objective
worked out, write it down. Write it on a card that you can carry
in your purse or wallet. Write it down and stick it up where you
can see it every day - beside your bed, in the fridge, on your
computer monitor - wherever your eyes will frequently fall.
 
Then, every time you set your goals and targets, whether they be
daily, weekly, annual or longer-term, pause for a moment and
measure those goals against your life's objective.
 
Is the fit comfortable? Are they all consistent?
 
When you set goals that are not consistent with your true life's
objective, those goals will at best be half-hearted and at worst
doomed to the temptations of endless procrastination.
 
Peter Thomson, the motivational speaker says that people will
only BE who they really ARE.
 
Who ARE you, really?

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Quotation
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Ralph Waldo Emerson said,
 
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must
carry it with us or we find it not."

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A Moment's Inspiration
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I don't know what the source of this is, but it bears reading
every few days to remind ourselves of what is important:

"Take Time"
Take time to work, it is the price of success.
Take time to think, it is the source of power.
Take time to play, it is the secret of perpetual youth.
Take time to read, it is the foundation of wisdom.
Take time to be friendly, it is the road to happiness.
Take time to dream, it is hitching your wagon to a star.
Take time to love and be loved, it is the privilege of the gods.
Take time to look around, it is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to laugh, it is the music of the soul.

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This Week's Quick Tip
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Find yourself a quiet place where you wont be disturbed for 5
minutes.
 
Sit and relax, with your hands in your lap. Close your eyes,
breath easily and slowly count backwards from 20.
 
Imagine, as you count, that with each number you are rising high
into the sky on a beam of light. By the time you get down to ten,
you will be far in space, feeling happy and content.
 
You notice another beam of light shining near to your one and you
follow that one back down to Earth, continuing to count down as
you do.
 
When you reach '1' you land back on Earth and realize that the
new beam was leading you from who you are to who you could be.
Meet with your potential self and learn what steps you took to
become that person. Enjoy the experience and the visit. That
potential you has much to teach you.
 
When your visit is over, count back from 20 again, riding the
beam of light back up to space. Meet your own beam again on the
count of 10 and continue back down to your here and now self.
When you reach '1' tell yourself that you will be calm, relaxed
and happy.
 
Visiting your potential self can be a wonderful experience. It
can also teach you things about yourself that you may have never
suspected.

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Just For Fun
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One third of all the known languages in the world are spoken in
one country. Can you guess which one?
It is New Guinea, where there are over 700 native languages.
 

 
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All the best from Toronto,
 Russ and Maggie 6-20-10
Russ and Maggie